Moving Through Change Without Bitterness

 The other day I was spending time with the prophet Ezekiel. He was a priest who had been exiled from Jerusalem during the first deportation of Judah. The great siege and destruction of Jerusalem was yet to come. Ezekiel was now without purpose and a job, confused with everyone else in exile. But Yahweh needed prophets for his people in Babylon and he had set Ezekiel aside for this purpose.

We always focus on the great vision of Ezekiel and for good reason. Each prophet brought a different revelation of Yahweh and putting them together gives us a fuller understanding of Yahweh. But this is not a path Ezekiel would have chosen for himself.

People today chase after the office of the prophet because it is different from the Old Testament Prophet. Prophets today are part of the five-fold, the trainers in the Body of Christ. Back in the day before the Holy Spirit was given to all believers, the prophet was the voice of Yahweh, bringing his word and will for that day. This did not give the prophet favour with the leadership or the people because the prophet often had a word of correction to bring, and no one likes correction.

Ezekiel would have known Jeremiah or known of him, so he knew of the bad things that were done to this dear prophet in Jerusalem. And Ezekiel also knew that this was the norm for the prophets of Yahweh. When chosen, that person lost his old life and comfort and now stepped into the privilege of intimacy with Yahweh and a very punishing life of service. So it should not surprise us that after receiving his anointing and commission, when the wind picked him up to carry him to the deportees, we read this:

“Then the wind picked me up and took me away. With the Lord’s power pressing down against me I went away, bitter and deeply angry, and I came to the exiles who lived beside the Chebar River at Tel-abib. I stayed there among them for seven desolate days.”  Ezekiel 3:14-15

So the result of this vision and encounter, of the call and commission : “I went away, bitter and deeply angry.” Ezekiel knew what this was going to look like. Remember, he wasn’t asked if he was willing, he was simply told to go. Too often we put all the emphasis on the benefits of our relationship and so we are unprepared for the cost. There is always a cost.

Several times in my life the Lord called me to something that caused my world to shift. I knew I would have to say good-bye to what I knew and what I was comfortable with, to step into the obedience of Father’s purpose for me. There was great cost. But there was also great benefit, and the benefit far outweighed the cost. But there was a cost.

I could compare it to having a baby. There is great cost to the mom. Her life will never be the same again. There will never be another moment in her life when she won’t be a mom. There is pain in the birth. There is pain in the difficult nights, giving up plans for a sick child, and the tons of work involved in raising a child. But the benefits of having that little person pouring out their love into your life far outweighs any cost.

If we forget his benefits we run the risk of having bitterness and deep anger filling our hearts and clouding our perspective. Change is never easy. Many of us struggle with change. But change is also filled with exciting possibilities. The thing that is important to anchor yourself to is the truth that our Father never changes. Even in the chaos of the change that he is bringing about he is our anchor. We must remind ourselves of his benefits. We need to review our many testimonies of his goodness. We must declare our trust in the darkness. We must hold on to him because he is the only one who makes sense of life and provides the strength we need.

We are given the honest reactions of prophets, psalmist, servants and kings so that we can see that these are normal reactions to unusual times. But we are also given the example of how they confessed these things to the Lord and then confessed their trust in him. This is given so we know that this is how we get through life-shifting changes without bitterness and deep anger taking route.

In Your Anger

Anger is such a waste of energy and emotion.

Yes, I know; Jesus got angry. But Christians use that as an excuse and they have no idea what they are talking about. Jesus getting angry over the abuse of his Father's House (the temple) is in a different universe to our getting angry. Let's consider it for a moment:

There he found people selling cattle, sheep, and doves in the temple. He also saw moneychangers sitting at their tables. So he took some rope and made a whip. Then he chased everyone out of the temple, together with their sheep and cattle. He turned over the tables of the moneychangers and scattered their coins. Jesus said to the people who had been selling doves, “Get those doves out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a marketplace.” (John 2:14-16)

Jesus came into the temple, his Father's House, a place of prayer and meditation; a place of teaching and discussing the Holy Scriptures, and finds a noisy market place. Forget the fact that is was an unfair system that extorted money from the poorest of the poor. Just the fact that there was a full market in a place of prayer is bad. Man using religion for his personal financial gain was a great disrespect of our Holy God. Can you understand the anger of the Son? But look what he did with that anger.

Jesus did not allow the anger to destroy him. He did not take it out on other people. He dealt with his anger by correcting the situation, addressing the people concerned. Some people may look at this from the perspective that Jesus was mean and destructive but those people were a destructive element preventing innocent people from approaching the Father. God's righteous anger will always act against those who touch the children. But this was not the only time Jesus got angry.

It was the Sabbath and the Pharisees were watching Jesus carefully to see if he would heal on the holy day:

Jesus told the man to stand up where everyone could see him. Then he asked, “On the Sabbath should we do good deeds or evil deeds? Should we save someone’s life or destroy it?” But no one said a word. Jesus was angry as he looked around at the people. Yet he felt sorry for them because they were so stubborn. Then he told the man, “Stretch out your hand.” He did, and his bad hand was healed. (Mark 3:3-5)

Even though Jesus got angry at the unkindness of the people, at their unwillingness to be honest about their heart, he permitted his compassion to outshine his anger. He put his anger away as he felt sorry for those who would trap him. His love was greater than his anger. And note that he did not allow his anger to prevent him from doing the right thing.

Then there was the time that his disciples tried to keep the children from disturbing Jesus. Instead of being pleased by their act of protection Jesus became angry. They still did not understand his purpose:

When Jesus saw this, he became angry and said, “Let the children come to me! Don’t try to stop them. People who are like these little children belong to the kingdom of God. I promise you that you cannot get into God’s kingdom, unless you accept it the way a child does.” (Mark 10:14-15)

Notice that Jesus did not lose control. He did not rant and rave. He simply corrected the situation and then used it to teach an important spiritual truth. He was productive in a positive manner in his anger. Now compare that to your anger.

Let us be honest with each other. Our anger almost always comes from a self-centered root. It is a reaction to what people do against us or when something impacts us. In this case Jesus instructed us to allow forgiveness and compassion to overshadow any selfish emotion that may have been provoked in us. Easier said than done but it is easier when we walk in step with the Spirit. The further away we are from Jesus the more focused we are on ourselves. The closer we are, the more of his character shines through us.

Then we have the question of what we do with our anger. Does it become a destructive force in us? Does it kill a bit of us and anyone who is around? Does it manifest in violent action, words, attitude? This is not what Jesus did and there is no comparison to God's anger if this is how we react with our emotion. Jesus made positive things happen. He corrected the situation to the benefit of the innocent. He did not take it out on those closest to him. He did not do things he would need to apologize for later. He responded in his anger instead of react by his anger. Few of us can say the same.

The best thing we can do with our anger (and we will get angry) is learn to surrender it to the Lord. If we are not directed by the Spirit what positive things we can bring about in our anger then we need to give it to the Lord. Don't say those words you will later regret. At least ask the Lord how to impact the situation in a positive manner, which causes you to stop and think. Don't take any action that you have not spent a least an hour praying through, especially an action that will permanently impact the days to follow.

Try to be honest about this emotion we call anger and be honest about the root of it. There is no sense pretending about something that our God sees through. However, it is amazing the great things that God does with our surrender. On its own, anger is a destructive emotion in us. But in the hands of God it can become a positive force that produces positive outcomes, especially for the innocent.

Just Like Jesus Did It

I hear it every day: "You are such a patient man". Not really a sentence I would have used to describe me. I used to be a short tempered man when I was young. My anger came from my self-centeredness. Sure, I cared about people and loved doing nice things for them but I had yet to mature spiritually. I did not yet understand how to see people with the eyes and heart of Jesus.

When we consider Jesus we see that he taught with patience. He was not concerned with being honoured and gladly took on the role of a servant. Being in the place of a servant he did nothing for himself and concentrated on what he could do for others. Although he came to "cast out demons and preach the good news", his heart of compassion also moved him to heal the sick, bring sight to the blind and cause the lame to walk. Even in his deepest distress he placed others before his own wants, needs and desires. A person like this does not have anger issues.

Leadership in the Church is based on Jesus' teaching of servant-leader. Leaders can have no personal vested interest in anything, must be empty of self and see themselves as servants of God, to the Church. If a leader has any self-centeredness it is going to show in the way he or she deals with the "sheep". Paul wrote to Timothy:

You must correct people and point out their sins. But also cheer them up, and when you instruct them, always be patient. (2 Timothy 4:2)

Leaders have been called to lead. They lead by example and in instruction but leadership also means correction. However, when a leader takes a person's sin as a personal insult they will end up dealing with it in anger. But sin is not an offense against a leader; sin is an offense against God and all God wants is it to be confessed and forgiven. Leaders must be patient in instruction and gentle in restoration. You can't cheer them up if you have taken the offense personally.

It is unfortunately that too much of leadership training these days is based on man's model instead of God's. It is too bad we chase after seminars based on business teaching instead of biblical teaching. It is too bad that pastors are too busy building a corporation instead of the Kingdom. It is too bad because we are missing the mark and "sheep" are being slaughtered in the process.

Personally, the Spirit is taking me through a re-processing as he strips away ideologies that I have allowed to be built in my life. Much of it has to do with man's thinking of the Church and leadership. As the Spirit does this I realize how easy it is to take on man's thinking instead of God's thinking. It is so easy to fall into that trap, just as easy as it is to fall into the trap of financial dependency on this world. Servant-leadership takes as much faith as trusting the provision of God. We have to trust that the Spirit is working on the hearts of those we must correct so that when we speak, our gentle word is a confirmation of what God is already doing.

I grew out of my anger issues the day I realized it wasn't about me. The day I realized it was about Jesus and my neighbour, all that anger drained from my heart. The reason I am a patient man is because I serve a patient God. The reason I don't take offense is because I realize I am not the one being offended. The reason I can correct is because I know it is about that person's good and not about my wound. Leadership in the Church is a cool thing because it is all about serving Jesus by serving others, and I mean really serving where all the benefit is for them and none for yourself. Just like Jesus did it.

In Your Anger Do Not Sin

I used to be a very angry man. When I was young I would slam doors, punch walls and throw things as an expression of that anger. Many people who know me now would never believe that about me, would never have suspected. I used to be very passionate in my anger and it was wrong. The Lord had to save me from that passion, and he did. Some would say that I am a very patient man now but I see it more as a man who has learned to trust the King who changed me.

It is not that I am void of anger, I have only learned that I am not the center of the universe. Consider it for a moment: What causes us to become angry? Is it not when we consider that someone has wronged us, when someone has trampled on us or on something we love or when they steal something away from us? This is an opportunity to show yourself to be a disciple of Jesus, possessed by his peace and here to serve others. Consider what Jesus taught:

- love your enemies
- do good to those who hate you
- bless those who curse you
- pray for those who mistreat you
- If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also.
- If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.
- If anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. (Luke 6:27-30)

Of course the only way to have such an impossible attitude is to experience the love of Jesus. There is no way we can find it in our humanism to live such an attitude with no resentment without a great revelation of God`s love. Jesus taught this:

If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. (Luke 6:32-35)

Again, impossible without the revelation and possession of God`s love. Quite radical even in this enlightened age we live in. Most people are charitable but they are not willing to be abused for that charity. Most people love those who are kind to them but they still hold grudges and seek vengeance.  Most people look for justice and hope to profit from someone else`s hurtful actions. Essentially we are a very angry society because we are a very selfish society, stumbling around in the dark, trying to survive with no consideration of the true light Jesus brings to us and is to us.

Paul wrote to the Ephesians:

“In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold. (Ephesians 4:26-27)

He is quoting Psalm 4 here. The passage reads:

In your anger do not sin;
    when you are on your beds,
    search your hearts and be silent. 
⁵ Offer right sacrifices    and trust in the Lord. (Psalm 4:4-5)

The secret to having control over your anger is the last part; have a right relationship with God and trust Jesus. Trust that he uses all things for your good. Trust that he is looking out for you. Trust that you can leave all your personal concerns in his hands while you are busy with the Kingdom's work. Trust and consider others more important than yourself. Consider that Jesus set aside all his personal interests and self-preservation and laid down his life for you. He in turn tells you to love others in this same manner.

If you are truly passionate about Jesus then there is no room in your heart  for self-centered anger. Vengeance is mine says the Lord. He is a just God which means we really need to pray for our enemy, that they would come to know Jesus before they come face to face with our just God. If you are a true disciple of Jesus you will obey his teachings. If you truly love him, you will do what he has commanded. With love, true love, self-sacrificing love, there is no room for selfish anger.

The Power Of Authentic Love

What we call love in our society is pretty pathetic. It is based more on a euphoria of feelings and hormones. It can better be described as a feeding trough; as long as we are getting something out of the relationship we are happy but don't expect us to put anything into it. Love is described as how we feel, so I may be in love today but tomorrow who knows. What we claim to be love today has very little substance and absolutely no stick-to-it-ness. Today love fails because it is no love at all.

It is no different in our relationships in the Church or with God. That is quite the command he put in place when he told us to love him with our entire being and then to love our neighbour as ourself. This is a powerful thing, an incredible love, a demand of complete devotion. We rob it of its essence and make it a thing of attending church and reading our Bible but the love of which God speaks is a thing of power. Consider this as Paul continues with the Spirit's definition of love:

It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Corinthians 13:5)

I know a lot of Christians who fail the love test with this first word describing what love isn't. I have been embarrassed countless times by my behaviour as well as the behaviour of other believers when we allow our feelings to get the better of us and we react in rudeness. In fact, there are some people who I think have never met Jesus because of their daily wrong behaviour in this area. Teens are rude to their parents, parents are rude to the sales clerk, people are rude because someone was rude to them. Young adults should look at their love interest and if they experience rudeness in that person realize that their love is not authentic or at least not mature. There is never an excuse for being rude.

If I had to describe what passes as love today I would use the word self-seeking. People are always looking for what they can get out of a relationship instead of what they need to put into it. I think it best describes our relationship with God as we continue to treat him like a genie in a bottle. It is always what we can get out of him, including in worship. Worship is about blessing our God from a thankful heart but we come in wanting that great feeling we get from worship. If we don't get that feeling we walk away feeling dissatisfied. Love is always about what we do for others, what we do for God, what we give to that relationship. If it is about us, what we want, what we expect, what we desire then it's not love.

When I was a young adult I had an anger problem. I could become angry in an instant over the smallest thing. I could see that this was damaging to relationships and asked God to save me from it. He did this by taking me to the place of service. He showed me that love meant I was glad to serve others, to be kind, to sacrifice for the benefit of other people. This became my ambition, my desire, to love in action instead of words alone. Love replaced my anger problem so much that when I tell people who know me today that I had an anger problem when I was younger they don't believe me. Most claim that I am a very patient man and I hope I am but I know I have a long way to go in my understanding of God's love. One thing I do know, anger has no part to do with love. A quick temper does not belong in the Body of Christ.

I believe with all my heart that forgiveness is a key ingredient in all relationships, but not a forgiveness that simply sets the offence aside. A forgiveness that comes from love removes the offence and never brings it up again. That kind of forgiveness makes a conscious decision to live like it never happened. So many relationships accumulate a ton of baggage along the way, never forgetting even though forgiveness was offered. Every time there is a disagreement a list of past offences are read out but love doesn't do that. Love doesn't keep score. Love offers authentic forgiveness so that there is also complete reconciliation and trust again. Love does not accumulate baggage but instead travels through life without even the carry-on bags.

Now can you imagine the power of this love shown to the world through the Church? Can you imagine what the Church would look like if we lived so that love is patient, love is kind? Can you begin to imagine relationships in the Church where love did not envy or boast and was not proud? Could you imagine authentic love in the Church so that people were not rude, self-seeking, easily angered and kept no record of wrongs? Are you beginning to see that our wimpy sentimental version of love is no love at all but is rather ugly compared to the authentic love of God?

It doesn't matter how much we try we cannot produce this authentic love in ourselves. We cannot wake up today and say "Hey, I am going to be more authentic in my love". They only way we can possess it is if it is produced in us by the Holy Spirit and this happens when we are completely sold out to Jesus Christ, living like we have died to ourselves. But that's a different posting. It is enough for now to desire this greater love and to seek it from God with all our being. If it is really the desire of your heart then Jesus will take you to the depths of his love where you will learn to love as he has loved us.

The Side Effects of Anger - Who Knew?

I had a spout of anger this week that I worked hard at keeping in control. I did manage to control it but now I am asking myself if it was worth the side effects. I never really thought about the side effects of anger before. I am not an angry person. Over the years I have discovered that most things we get angry about are not worth the energy.

Seriously, someone cuts you off on the road it's not a big deal. It wasn't personal. They don't know you. They are just in a hurry for whatever reason and are taking advantage of whatever opportunity they can to get ahead. Maybe they just got the news that their child was hit by a car or maybe their boss told them that if they are late one more time they will be fired.

Benefit of the doubt; that's how I usually handle a response to such actions.

However, this week I felt my rights and the rights of my family were violated. There was the briefest moment when I had a choice to let it go or to allow myself to get angry. Notice I said "allow" because in order for me to get angry I have to work at it. I made the decision to get angry, determined I could do what the Word of God says:

In your anger do not sin. (Psalm 4:4)

Ii is an instruction that is repeated by Paul in Ephesians 4:26. So, it's okay to get angry, just don't sin. I imagined my anger was a righteous anger and that I could control it. Even though I think I managed to not sin in my anger I came pretty close but the thing is, I wasn`t counting on the effects of this anger after the flames died down..

First of all I had no idea that once that flame is lit it can become such a roaring fire that threatens to consume everything. That fire is difficult to put out once lit, burning for a very long time and it needs fuel to keep burning. It takes a lot of energy to be angry. Soon you start feeling tired, empty and emotionally drained if not depressed. No kidding, I didn`t do a single physical thing yesterday yet I fell into bed physically and emotionally exhausted. I had nothing left.

Second, I very much dislike the residue of anger. After the fire has gone out and the smoke has dissipated there is a sick residue that is left. I sit and wonder what I accomplished, was it worth it, being dissatisfied with myself, wondering if I robbed Jesus of any of his glory? Is my testimony still intact or do I look like a complete idiot with no grace or compassion? I am left thinking "I don't like myself right now". Yet, I did not sin. I did not destroy anyone. I did not tear anyone down, call them names or even disrespect them. I did not curse God in any of this. But I did step out of my character, I raised my force, I pushed for my rights, I was not kind or compassionate and I was not patient. I did not show love. I made my needs and the needs of may family take priority over profit line of a business but in the process I lost something.

The problem is I allowed the situation to change my character. I allowed it to spring board me into reacting in a manner that is unnatural to my norm. At the end of the day my anger accomplished nothing and it left me feeling less than 100% a mighty warrior of God. I understand a bit better what Paul was writing about when he said to the Corinthians:

“Everything is permissible”—but not everything is beneficial. “Everything is permissible”—but not everything is constructive. (1 Corinthians 10:23)

Without a doubt it was permissible for me to become angry and fight for my rights but at the end of the day it is not my rights that matter. I must ask myself if it was at all beneficial or constructive. Looking at how I am feeling now, the low point of my energy, the time that was lost and the hardening heart of the business I was dealing with, I would say no, there was no benefit physically or spiritually. Prayer would have been the much better option. If someone else had been in my situation perhaps it would have been good to become angry but knowing who I am, the character God has developed in me, and the effects of anger on this character, I made a wrong choice. But praise the Lord, his mercies are new every morning.