Desperation

Are you desperate? Is there something you are facing that is beyond your ability or capacity to do anything about? Good; you are right where God wants you to be.

Do we worship a sadistic God? Not at all. We worship a Father who knows his children all too well. When we are desperate, we move closer to him. When we are satisfied, we move away.

Look at Israel. Every time they were at peace and had everything they wanted, they moved away from God and sought out false gods. Whenever enemies were attacking they grew desperate and turned back to God; and he always rescued them.

Look at Solomon. He had everything he wanted; rich beyond compare. He ended up following the gods of his hundreds of wives and concubines because he was not desperate for God. In the end this "wise" king was a fool and the dynasty fell apart. Yet,when he was young and afraid of the responsibilities he was given, he was desperate and called out to God and God was pleased to respond.

When was Israel the strongest? When they were desperate for provision in the desert. The generation that emerged from that 40 years of dependence on God every day was the strongest generation that ever walked this planet.

Why did God send his chosen people into exile? Because he had to make them desperate again so that they would seek him. They had forgotten how to be dependent. They were lost to him and he needed to wake them up before he lost them completely. Why do families do interventions when a member is killing themselves on drugs or alcohol? It seems cruel at the time but they are desperate to get through to that person, to save them. God is forced to do intervention with us when we turn from him and face certain death.

What did God say to Solomon after the temple was built? Listen to the heart of a Father who knows his children and has a plan to save them:

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:13-14)

When do people seek the face of God? When are they interested in knowing him better? When do they start praying without ceasing? When they are desperate. It is amazing how desperation gives birth to determination. I am determined to see God because I am desperate for him. However, now I have the maturity that it does not take provision to provoke me to desperation. My desperation comes when I feel absent from God. I am desperate for his presence because I know I have nothing and am nothing without him.

However, when I was younger, my greatest growth in faith came every time I was forced to seek Jesus for protection and provision. I was desperate to be aware of his presence; desperate to be reminded of his promises; desperate to know deeply his love, compassion and grace. It was in those weary moments, panicked moments, lonely and desperate moments that Jesus became real like never before.

There is nothing wrong with desperate moments. Like Paul discovered, it is when we discover God's grace is sufficient and that in our weakness he shines brightest. In these moments we can often react like Paul as we are overwhelmed by the beauty of our Lord: I want to be weak all the time!

It is unfortunate that our old nature still tries to convince us that our Father wants us independent and strong. Just like the Israelites, our relationship with God is filled with great intimacy and great independence, and it is in those moments of independence that we set up other gods. We live in such times now, as we rely on everything but God.

We need renewal in our relationship but it isn't going to happen until we are desperate for him. To seek his face requires determination but determination requires desperation. Do you see what we have become? Do you see how far we have wandered away? Do you see how independent, self-sufficient we are? Does God really need to allow disaster upon us before we wake up, before we become desperate? Can't we hear his voice now? Won't we respond now? Haven't we learned from the generations before us? Why aren't we desperate?

Forget Not His Benefits

Who is your protector?

Who do you turn too when everything goes wrong? Who do you lean on for strength? Who listens to your complaints? From whom do you seek advice? Who or what is your rock? Your confidante? Your adviser?

Is it mom or dad? Maybe a teacher? An old friend? Perhaps a stranger? Maybe it is your own thoughts?

Perhaps it is your credit card that rescues you. Maybe a bank loans officer. A friend with deep pockets. A loving parent.

We would like to say it is Jesus. We would like to say it is our Father. We would like to say with David:

You, Lord God,
    are my protector.
    Rescue me and keep me safe
    from all who chase me.
2 Or else they will rip me apart
like lions
    attacking a victim,
    and no one will save me. (Psalm 7:1-2)

We should have this same realization, that without our Father we are lost. We should have this same realization, that he is the only one who can help us. We should know the promises he has made and his faithfulness to keep them. We should. But when we are facing those things that "chase" us, it is often easier to grasp something a little more tangible. But that doesn't stop our Father from rescuing us or providing for us.

The other day I was talking things over with Jesus in the shower. It is one of our common talking places. I was doing most of the talking. Well, more imploring. I was pointing out certain financial situations and the fact that I was powerless in the situation and needed his help. In the middle of my long discourse he interrupted me.

The interruption came more in the form of a clear realization than in a sentence. He pointed out how our Father was looking after those situations. Money from an unexpected source paid certain bills and a gift of $100 covered the babies birthday cake and present. How had I missed that? I had excepted the provision without thought and without pause in my complaints. The realization was quite the reproach and I quickly repented of my ungrateful heart.

That's when I realized I was losing my Kingdom eyes. God was overly active in my life and I was missing it. I was not able to see his hand whereas I had seen his hand on my life for years. Something had distracted me. Something had taken my eyes from the things above and fixed them on the things around me. The wonder of God was fading and I was losing my dependence.

Without God I am a lost soul on route to my destruction. With him, but without dependence on him, I am saved but making things so much harder on myself. I have to face every foe on my own, climb mountains that should leap at my command, find strength from where ever I can find it, provide my own provision, heal my diseases myself. Am I crazy? Why would I do that when my Father has promised to look after me? Why or how could I forget the benefits of being a child of my Father:

Praise the Lord, my soul;
    all my inmost being, praise his holy name.
2 Praise the Lord, my soul,
    and forget not all his benefits—
3 who forgives all your sins
    and heals all your diseases,
4 who redeems your life from the pit
    and crowns you with love and compassion,
5 who satisfies your desires with good things
    so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. (Psalm 103:1-5)

This is why Jesus told us time and again to trust our Father with everything we need, to ask our Father for anything we need. But instead we run to our credit cards or seek out friends. Crazy!

We say we love God because he loves us but then we do not take advantage of his love, generosity, kindness and compassion. Do we not understand that it pleases him to respond to his children? It pleases him when we ask. It pleases him to pour out his blessings on us and often he does it whether we are paying attention or not. But then we become  ungrateful kids, and we all know what we think of ungrateful kids.

I am repenting of my stupidity right here and right now. I refuse to forget about all his benefits. He intended us to have a relationship of trust, to have a carefree attitude, to be possessed by love, joy and peace. The only way I don't have these things is when I am looking for another provider, another protector. But I am not doing that any more. I am satisfied with my God because he is my God. I will trust him, lean on him, run to him, hide beneath his wing, embrace him in the dark and delight in all the good things he has for me. He is faithful. He is my God.