One of the hardest things for a Christian to accept and live is that salvation is free. Sure, we know it because we can read it for ourselves. We know that sin had mastery over us, enslaved us, and without being aware of it, we were powerless against it. In that state we thought we were in control of our lives and our behaviour. We understand that we had to be rescued, made free from the authority of sin in order to grasp the love of our Father. We understand that this was done by Jesus on the cross. We understand but do we live it?
Can you accept that by his actions on the cross Jesus saved you; that there is nothing you have to do to contribute to this rescue aside from believing and accepting it? True, we don't deserve it and find it mind-boggling that Father would even desire to do this for us but it doesn't change the truth.
Living a good life does not add anything to the free gift of salvation. Reading your Bible, praying and attending church has to do with growing in your relationship with Jesus which is a separate issue from your salvation. All of your sins, past, present and future have been covered by the blood spilled on the cross all those years ago. You did nothing to contribute to it; it was all Jesus.
There is a difference between spiritual growth and salvation. We do not grow into our salvation but we do work out our salvation daily. We do grow into a more intimate relationship with Jesus. You have been forgiven because of Jesus' actions. All your sins (past, present and future) have been washed away, removed, forgotten. If you sin today, for the sake of a right heart with Father, you need to confess it, repent of it, but understand it has already been forgiven. Remember the Prodigal Son.
Stop beating yourself up over your sin; you are growing out of it. Simply allow your desire to change from your flesh pleasures to our heavenly delights. Stop looking at the things of this world and fix your mind and heart on things above. Pursue greater intimacy with Jesus and stop trying to earn your way. The ticket has been bought and delivered. Enjoy the ride.