How you see yourself is exactly how you are going to act. That is why the words that we allow into our heart can be so powerful, if we allow them to change our perception. If we are not absolutely sure of who we are those words, which come from other people, can actually shape us into how other people see us. This is why it is important for parents to speak good things into their children because those young lives are still being shaped and are influenced by our words.
This is also why it is important that we only allow God's words to shape us. We need to be absolutely sure of who we are in Jesus so that assurance will prevent others from shaping us. Consider these words:
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved ... (Colossians 3:12a)
Chosen, holy, loved. This describes us. Chosen because God made a choice in sending Jesus so that we may be saved from destruction and adopted into the Father's family. Holy because, by God's grace, that is what he has declared over us and made the decision how to see us, even though we are not worthy of that word; it is who we are because God said we are holy. Loved because God has poured out all his mercy, forgiveness and compassion on us, transforming us into something new, saving us from ourselves and sitting us at his right hand with Jesus.
Now how could we ever listen to any words that say we are ugly when God says we are beautiful? There are too many hurtful words that we could repeat here but why bother; they don't apply to us. God has told us exactly who we are and we need to act on those words, allowing them to shape our perception and action. If words can be spoken to convince us we are stupid and we act stupid, should not the words of God propel us into acts of greatness?
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. (v12)
Because we are chosen, holy and loved we are shaped so that we become compassionate, kind, humble, gentle and patient. If you are not sure of who you are then words will shape you into other actions even though you desire to be these things from God. You may want to be compassionate but because you are not convinced you are chosen, holy and loved, your actions will not reflect Jesus' character; you will not cooperate with the Holy Spirit in you.
We can't just attend church, Bible Study and sing sings, hoping for the best. We have to be transformed. We have to allow the blood of Jesus Christ to transform us into the new creation to which God has called us. We need to allow the power of the Holy Spirit to continue the transformation process daily. We need to be convinced of who we are in Jesus so the words of God are the only words that shape us. Know who you are in Jesus and walk that walk.