I read long ago that a parent should never do anything on their own. From grocery shopping to going to the bank a parent should always take at least one child. Life is filled with many unexpected teaching opportunities that cannot be taught in a lecture but are taught by modelling. Parents teach by example and there is no better example than how we interact with people in our community.
We often believe that what we say to our children will have the biggest impact but the loudest thing we say is said with our actions. Children are watching our response as that crazy driver cuts us off. They see what kind of respect we give to the new bank teller. They read our body language as we wait in the grocery line as that dear old soul counts out her change.
Our children are going to become what they see in us. They will use the same words we use. They will exude our attitude toward people. How often do you hear your parents' words coming out of your mouth? How often do you see your parents' attitude in your actions? Do we need to choose better words and a better attitude?
I try to remember to bring my children along but sometimes I fail and go with the fast route instead of the slow one, but yesterday I remembered. I took my six year old son on the dog walk. We walked. We talked. We enjoyed each others company. And he observed my actions without me realizing it.
I have a habit of trying to leave the world in better condition than I found it. For this purpose I carry extra dog bags on me to clean up where someone else failed to. My son was a few steps ahead of me when I stopped to clean up someone else's mess. I didn't think he noticed. But when we got home he announced to his mom, "Alison didn't go poo but dad used a bag to clean up another dog's poo". My wife gave me a look that conveyed "good job". But it's not just children who are watching.
Last year I was walking with the dog past our local park. There was a lot of litter so I picked up a few pieces and put them in the garbage. When I turned around I almost bumped into a man who was walking with his children. I hadn't seen them walking behind me but he had seen what I was doing. He smiled and gave me a thumbs up. Because they were walking faster than my dog they went ahead of me. To my surprise the dad suddenly stooped down and picked up a discarded coffee cup. He said something to his kids who suddenly ran ahead and started picking up garbage. I thought, "Wow!"
This is the world in which we live, raise our kids and minister. We are told not to be overcome by evil but to overcome evil with good. But it can seem overwhelming. It can make us feel powerless and insignificant. We are only one person so what are we compared to all that? But Father did not tell us to do all that. He told us to be faithful to what he has given us. I can't impact my whole town but I can impact my children and the people I meet today. I may not be able to preach but I can demonstrate Father's heart by the way I honour and value people. I may feel insignificant but I can do significant things by doing the next right thing as defined by Father.
This is the attitude and the demonstration that will most impact our children. I can tell them I love Jesus or I can show them in the way I treat their mother, our neighbours and the workers in our community. I can demonstrate it in the way I talk about leaders in the church and politics. I can demonstrate it by living an attitude that tells them people are more important than possessions. My children may forget my words but they will remember what they have seen. To Father, there is nothing more important in our lives than people. They are the objects of his love and I want my children to see this reflected in my actions.
The children are watching. They are suppose to. It is how they learn. What are we teaching beyond our words?
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