There are some days when I feel I have been hit by a bus and it leaves me asking, "Jesus, Really? This was the plan?" The quick response is, "No, of course it wasn't the plan, but I'll work with it anyway." It is ridiculous for us to think that every single decision we make is God-ordained. I wish we were that "tuned in" to our Father's will but there are too many things we are susceptible to which distract us and fill our heads with our own ideas. The incredible thing is that God has promised to use the good, the bad and the ugly for our benefit.
Living with regrets and "what could have been" is a complete waste of time and energy. Such things will keep us handcuffed to our mistakes, stupidity and sin. Praise our Lord Jesus Christ that he ushered in a season of grace. We blow it, feel terrible, turn to our Dad, ask his forgiveness, learn from our sins and mistakes, are covered by the blood of the Lamb, and continue growing in his grace. Pretending our sin didn't happen will only kill us spiritually. Not dealing with matters just tells our Father we don't trust him, which is a real relationship killer. We have to be real and honest with our Father, for our own benefit.
So we deal with it as we should but don't think it is done with yet because our God has bigger plans for it than we think. Our Father does not waste anything. Even if we think we have ruined our lives, even if we got flattened by that train, even though we think we are in an impossible situation, we need to understand and accept this little-big truth of our Father:
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)
Just a small verse taken from an incredible passage that you should take the time to read in its entirety because we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. We are more than the sum of our mistakes. We are more than our mis-steps, miscues, blunders, stupidity, sin. Our Father is pulling for us. Just because we find ourselves at a dead-end does not mean we are stuck. If we would just stop doing what we think is best and ask the Father for direction we would see how quickly he uses everything for our good.
I'll be honest with you, there are days when I don't want to do this any more. And by "do this" I mean my life. I don't mean suicide by any means but a "walking away" from my work, finances, struggles and so on. There are periods when I just want to pack up my bags and disappear from life. But if I am willing to be honest with myself, those are the low periods of my spiritual walk as well. Those are the periods when I stopped trusting and took control for myself. They are the periods when I have set God aside in a panic and tried to forge my own future. My attitude is "here is my plan God, now bless it". The hard times, frustrations and fear are used by my Father to remind me how much more pleasant it is when he leads me through those "valley of the shadow of death".
The real question is what I do once I wake up to my own stupidity? That's the important thing. Do I throw it all away or do I ask the Father, "Now what?" If trusting my own plans got me into this mess wouldn't the opposite get me out? If we ask Dad and he opens an exit door then take it, but if he says, "Wait. I am going to use this for your good", then we stand in it and wait to see what he is going to do. In the mean time, he will renew, strength, and re-energize us. He will give us new eyes, new hope and a new desire. We need to do what we didn't do in the first place; trust.
If you are waking up today feeling like you were hit by a bus, ask yourself why? Then confess whatever it is to our Dad. After that, after the forgiveness brings new life to your tired limbs, ask, "Now what?" and wait. Wait. Trust. Obey. Live. Laugh. Know his presence. Bask in his love. Be his child. Wait for his direction. All will be well. He has his plans for you and he will use everything to see those plans completed. Nothing frustrates our Father.