Desperation

Are you desperate? Is there something you are facing that is beyond your ability or capacity to do anything about? Good; you are right where God wants you to be.

Do we worship a sadistic God? Not at all. We worship a Father who knows his children all too well. When we are desperate, we move closer to him. When we are satisfied, we move away.

Look at Israel. Every time they were at peace and had everything they wanted, they moved away from God and sought out false gods. Whenever enemies were attacking they grew desperate and turned back to God; and he always rescued them.

Look at Solomon. He had everything he wanted; rich beyond compare. He ended up following the gods of his hundreds of wives and concubines because he was not desperate for God. In the end this "wise" king was a fool and the dynasty fell apart. Yet,when he was young and afraid of the responsibilities he was given, he was desperate and called out to God and God was pleased to respond.

When was Israel the strongest? When they were desperate for provision in the desert. The generation that emerged from that 40 years of dependence on God every day was the strongest generation that ever walked this planet.

Why did God send his chosen people into exile? Because he had to make them desperate again so that they would seek him. They had forgotten how to be dependent. They were lost to him and he needed to wake them up before he lost them completely. Why do families do interventions when a member is killing themselves on drugs or alcohol? It seems cruel at the time but they are desperate to get through to that person, to save them. God is forced to do intervention with us when we turn from him and face certain death.

What did God say to Solomon after the temple was built? Listen to the heart of a Father who knows his children and has a plan to save them:

When I shut up the heavens so that there is no rain, or command locusts to devour the land or send a plague among my people, if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (2 Chronicles 7:13-14)

When do people seek the face of God? When are they interested in knowing him better? When do they start praying without ceasing? When they are desperate. It is amazing how desperation gives birth to determination. I am determined to see God because I am desperate for him. However, now I have the maturity that it does not take provision to provoke me to desperation. My desperation comes when I feel absent from God. I am desperate for his presence because I know I have nothing and am nothing without him.

However, when I was younger, my greatest growth in faith came every time I was forced to seek Jesus for protection and provision. I was desperate to be aware of his presence; desperate to be reminded of his promises; desperate to know deeply his love, compassion and grace. It was in those weary moments, panicked moments, lonely and desperate moments that Jesus became real like never before.

There is nothing wrong with desperate moments. Like Paul discovered, it is when we discover God's grace is sufficient and that in our weakness he shines brightest. In these moments we can often react like Paul as we are overwhelmed by the beauty of our Lord: I want to be weak all the time!

It is unfortunate that our old nature still tries to convince us that our Father wants us independent and strong. Just like the Israelites, our relationship with God is filled with great intimacy and great independence, and it is in those moments of independence that we set up other gods. We live in such times now, as we rely on everything but God.

We need renewal in our relationship but it isn't going to happen until we are desperate for him. To seek his face requires determination but determination requires desperation. Do you see what we have become? Do you see how far we have wandered away? Do you see how independent, self-sufficient we are? Does God really need to allow disaster upon us before we wake up, before we become desperate? Can't we hear his voice now? Won't we respond now? Haven't we learned from the generations before us? Why aren't we desperate?

It Is Suppose To Be Way Different Than This

It only makes sense, doesn't it?

Always trust God.

And we think we do.

But we don't.

We trust him with certain things which makes us feel like we are trusting him with everything because we seldom actually examine ourselves. We seldom ask ourselves the hard questions and when we do we are always able to justify ourselves. "Well, God gave us intelligence to think for ourselves." But that's not what the Lord said through Solomon:

With all your heart
you must trust the Lord
    and not your own judgment. (Proverbs 3:5)

Do not trust your own judgment. The reason is because God's ways are not our ways and God's thoughts are so much higher than our own. Our mind, our perspective, even our system of thinking has been crafted by the sinful nature of man. It is not natural for us to know God's ways. It is not normal for us to know his mind. However, through Jesus he has made it possible for us to know his mind, to know his ways, to know what we are to do, but it requires us to be centered on him, to be alive in Jesus, to be one with Jesus.

This is important because we think we are living according to God's will when we are actually following our own. We think we are being directed by him but we are being directed by the "common sense" (common sin) of this world. If we would really open ourselves to God's direction it would blow our mind. But we restrain ourselves by the knowledge of this world instead of living life in abundance through the promises of God. Even though God directs us, we walk according to the wisdom of this world. Instead of believing all things are possible through him who gives us strength, we walk away from God's anointing because the wisdom of the world says it is impossible.

I don't know; are we all reading the same Bible?  Can't we read the testimony of those who walked before us? Can we state that we trust in the same way they did? I mean with your family, finances, job, health, education, friends, love? Who is going to plan the size of your family? The wisdom of this world or God? Who is going to decide the work of your hands? The wisdom of this world or God? Who is going to provide for you and your family? The wisdom of this world or God? If God is not directing in these simple things then you will also not allow him to direct your place in the Body of Christ, in ministry. Trust is trust. It is not a partial thing but the whole. And when we trust, God will direct:

Always let him lead you,
    and he will clear the road
    for you to follow. (v. 6)

Always let him lead you. That is a direct and honest question to ask yourself today: Who is leading me? Can you, with confidence, declare that you are not directing your own path but have laid down all your will and are walking in the Father's? Most of us can't because we have not been trained. We have had no one come along side us and question us on this. We have had no one challenge us in our perspective and decisions because most of us think our wisdom is the Lord's:

Don’t ever think that you
    are wise enough,
    but respect the Lord
    and stay away from evil. (v. 7)

Respect means obedience. Not when we feel like it but because love compels to lay it all down before our King. We need to become radical in our desire for the Father's will. We need to allow the Holy Spirit to break down our old way of understanding and allow our minds to be renewed:

Don’t be like the people of this world, but let God change the way you think. Then you will know how to do everything that is good and pleasing to him. (Romans 12:2) 

Is that plain enough for us? Something tells me it isn't or we wouldn't be talking about it right now. Don't be like the people of this world. Think on that for a moment. Are we really any different? It is when we realize that we aren't any different, other than the music we listen to, the church we attend, and sometimes our vocabulary (but sometimes even this sounds like the world), that we can start being honest with ourselves and God. "Oh God, forgive us for our facade. Open our eyes and show us how we have been wrong." Then maybe we will invite him to change the way we think.

I don't know about you but I am tired of the facade. I want to see as God sees and I want to see what he wants me to see. I want to stop being governed by the rules of this world and start submitting myself to God's promises and principles. I want to stop listening to those who tell me something is impossible when God has told me that through Jesus all things are possible. Too often I have been back and forth in my thinking, but no more. It's the Kingdom of God or it's nothing. It's God's way or no way. Change the way I think Lord and give me eyes to see your design and a willing spirit to accept it.

I trust you.

Finding God In The Dark

I would like to think that every day is going to be a perfect day of balanced emotions and dedicated service to God. A day when I will trust him in every moment, good and bad, while I keep a sweet song in my heart. I would like to think that I will love with perfection, always forgiving and never seeking my own interest ahead of someone else's. I would like to think this of every day but truth be told, some days suck.

We do it to ourselves. God plans great things for us every day, whether the sun is shining or not. But we seem to have a trust issue, where yesterday he took care of us but today we think he won't. Sometimes it is just emotions that get away on us and suddenly God doesn't seem so big or so important any more. What that guy or girl did to us is more important than spending time with God. We fill the day moping about, feeling sorry for ourselves or being angry about something that at the end of time will seem ridiculous. When we realize what we have done we try to repair things with God, we try to come into his presence, we try to get intimate again but there seems to be a barrier; a barrier of our making:

Why are you downcast, O my soul? 
   Why so disturbed within me? 
Put your hope in God, 
   for I will yet praise him,    my Savior and my God. (Psalm 43:5)

We know we need God, we know we need that intimacy, we know we need to be assured by his presence but we just don't know how to get there. We read his Word - nothing. We listen to worship songs - our mind wonders. We try to pray - but our words sound hollow. Perhaps we feel that these words of the psalmist were written by our heart:

You are God my stronghold. 
   Why have you rejected me? 
Why must I go about mourning,    oppressed by the enemy? (Psalm 43:2)

That's how it begins to feel, like you have been rejected by God and turned over to the enemy. That's because we forget one very important part: We cannot rescue ourselves.

We have to remember that Jesus Christ did not come because we asked him to come. He came because the Father sent him. It is impossible for us to respond to God unless he is calling to us. We can`t have revival by our own design, it must be as a response to God`s call back to him. We cannot turn our heart around or force our way into the presence of God; we have to be invited:

Send forth your light and your truth, 
   let them guide me; 
let them bring me to your holy mountain,    to the place where you dwell. (Psalm 43:3)

Instead of telling God how to fix us or our situation or even how to change someone else, we should simply ask him to call to us so we can respond. We can sit there in that dark place and try to dictate to God and get nowhere or we can simply say "send me your light so I can go to your holy mountain". In other words, "Lord call to me, let me hear my name so I can turn to you and see you. I want to respond to your voice, to your presence. I can't see you right now, send your light so I can see how to return to you." It is when we are able to respond to his call, his voice that we enter his presence by his invitation and we are able to worship:

Then will I go to the altar of God, 
   to God, my joy and my delight. 
I will praise you with the harp,    O God, my God. (Psalm 43:4)

We have to stop dictating the terms and understand that it is always by God's grace, his will, his invitation. We don't invite him into our lives, he invites us into his presence. He is not our servant, our genie in the bottle; we are his and that is the most comforting thought we could possess. We belong to him and if we mess up he will always be calling us to him but we have to realize that. We have to stop talking, begging, pleading and simply say "Call to me so I can respond".

Stop trying to rescue yourself today. Ask him to call to you, to send his light so that you can see his way, and then stop talking and instead listen. Don't be like the prodigal son with a plan in mind of how you will manipulate your way back into God's great grace. Simply tell him you are lost, you messed up, you are sorry and you need a rescue. Then listen for his response and see that great light he sends to bring you home. He loves you. You belong to him. You are his child. He is calling to you. Just listen. Ask him to call again and just listen. When you hear his voice, get up and RUN to him!

Run to him, leaving the darkness behind and burst into his presence as only his invited child has the honour of doing. Ask right now, "Call to me daddy so I can come to you!"

In A Dry And Weary Land

I woke up this morning with an overwhelming desire to be in the presence of the Lord. It seems there are times when we feel we need Jesus more than other times. Perhaps we are feeling lost or lonely, maybe we are facing difficult situations, maybe we are afraid of something or perhaps we are just struck by the beauty of his love. Whatever the reason there are times when the need to worship and rejoice explodes within us:

O God, you are my God, 
earnestly I seek you; 
my soul thirsts for you, 
my body longs for you, 
in a dry and weary land 
where there is no water.  (Psalm 63:1)

We should gladly admit that there is nothing in this world that is able to satisfy our thirst. There are lots of substitutes but nothing is able to reach into the driest, thirstiest areas of our soul. Compared to Jesus, the world is a desert, empty, with nothing to offer but death. When you spend too much time in this place without acknowledging the presence and love of Jesus, you can become very dry and thirsty yourself, to the point that your spirit is desperately calling out for the rich fellowship of the Holy Spirit. This is especially true of those who have enjoyed a great relationship in the past but have somehow allowed themselves to dry out:

I have seen you in the sanctuary 
and beheld your power and your glory. 

Because your love is better than life, 
my lips will glorify you. 

I will praise you as long as I live, 
and in your name I will lift up my hands. 

My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods;

with singing lips my mouth will praise you.  (Psalm 63:2-5)

As you read the words of the psalmist can you feel the flame ignite within you, to be possessed like this again, to know this satisfaction? I sometimes wonder how many of us have had the privilege of experiencing that Jesus' love is better than life and where our praise is provoked by this love and not because of other reasons. This love is suppose to be our motivator for everything we do. Not that we say, "Oh, I guess I need to do good things because Jesus loves me", but instead a longing, a desperation to respond to his love with love, for him and everyone we know. As the Apostle Paul explained, it was because of this love that he felt compelled to do what he did. Compelled is a strong word. Am I compelled today? What is the motivation of our praise and worship? What is our motivation for service?

Perhaps we have no motivation. Perhaps we are warn out in this dry and thirsty land? Have we become weary? Have we allowed ourselves to lose the source of our motivation? Are we waking up today with a longing in our body to be with Jesus, to fellowship with him, to worship and glorify him, to serve him with all that we are? Are we beginning to realize that we are missing something?

On my bed I remember you; 
I think of you through the watches of the night. 

Because you are my help, 
I sing in the shadow of your wings. 

My soul clings to you; 
your right hand upholds me.  (Psalm 63:6-8)

This is what we really need, to understand that he is the source of everything for us. He is our strength, our hope, the one we cling to, the one we fix our eyes on. If our world does not revolve around him then we do not understand who he is to us. If Jesus is not always on your mind and in your heart then you do not understand what he has done for you. It is never about what you can do for Jesus because you can't do anything for him; it is all about what he has done and what he is doing for you. What we do is only a response, a compelling, a big thank you in appreciation for his acts of love. Our actions are only a fruit of what his love has grown in us. I think of him throughout the night. I sing to him as I seek his protection from all harm. I cling to him as he holds me tight. This is what it is to love Jesus, a response to his love. The Apostle John said that we love him only because he first loved us.

I pray this is your experience today. I pray that if your love has grown tired and weak that he will revive you by a reminder of his love. I pray that if this world is starting to get you down and you are questioning everything you have ever known, that you will experience his loving embrace today and his Spirit will ignite the flame in you again. If you have the spiritual blues today the best thing you can do is worship Jesus for what you know he has already done for you. Then seek out his promises in the Word. After that pour out your heart to him and then return to worship. Set aside a good chunk of time today to "earnestly seek" him. Get really thirsty for God and be prepared to be amazed at how he will respond to you.