Loving Without Compromise In A Divided Home

Things are changing very quickly in the Church's relationship with the world and we are beginning to see large divisions in the Church herself. There is a great spirit of confusion because the enemy is taking advantage of the fact that people do not know their Bible. Even though we have more resources available to us than ever before, biblical illiteracy is incredibly high. When we don't know what Jesus taught it becomes easy for the enemy to change our heart with a changing of the wind as we are seeing in our society of late.

At the end of the Old Testament we find the book of Malachi and at the end of this book we have a warning to not let go of the Word of God. We also find here the promise of what the returning prophet Elijah would do:

And he will turn
The hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers,
Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse. (Malachi 4:6)

So many parents hold on to these words as a promise not understanding their significance. This is not speaking of family strife but of generations that had turned away from the patriarchs of Israel, who had left the teaching of the ancients and had rebelled against Yahweh. In other words it was speaking of the nation of Israel. So this is the condition of Israel when John the Baptist began preaching and he was effective. The people turned and repented, receiving a baptism of repentance. Jesus had another warning for parents though:

Do not think that I came to bring peace on earth. I did not come to bring peace but a sword. For I have come to ‘set a man against his father, a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law’; and ‘a man’s enemies will be those of his own household.’ (Matthew 10:34-36)

Jesus spoke of what is only natural because the flesh cannot be friends with the Spirit nor the Spirit with the flesh because they are contrary. When a son or daughter refuses Christ and the parents stay steadfast then there is division. When the son or daughter belong to Jesus and the parents do not, there will be division. We are going to see much more of it in the days to come as the world sinks deeper into its depravity and the saints continue to stand on the Word. The hatred will grow and we will see greater division. Jesus knew his the cross would not bring peace to the world but would bring peace between those who accepted it and Father. But he warned us:

He who loves father or mother more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who loves son or daughter more than Me is not worthy of Me. And he who does not take his cross and follow after Me is not worthy of Me. (v. 37-38)

Many of us will do anything to have peace in the family. We will be willing to compromise the Word, bend some things that Jesus taught, all for the sake of peace in the house. Peace at all cost, but Jesus warned against it. No matter the cost we must pay, we have to keep to the understanding that Jesus is of highest importance and priority. Even if we lose our entire family as a result, we must stand with Jesus; we must love him more than any other.

Yes parents, our hearts will be crushed as the sin of unbelief divides us from our flesh and blood. Yes children, your hearts will yearn for the council of your dear parents, but our love for Jesus must be superior to all of this. It is hard but that is exactly what the enemy is counting on, that our earthly affections will keep us from Jesus. We cannot compromise on the righteousness of Jesus Christ. We cannot compromise on the holiness of our LORD God. We cannot live but the Word of God.

He who finds his life will lose it, and he who loses his life for My sake will find it. (v. 39) 

We never lose hope nor give up on those whom we are separated from because of unbelief; we love them too much to give up. But neither do we move from the Rock, upon whom we stand, to be with them in their depravity. Every person will have to make their decision and will be held accountable for that decision. We can pray for them and try to persuade them but they have to make and live with their own decision. Do your best to get them in now because it is almost too late but whatever you do, don't go wandering yourself because the curtain is being drawn on this age. Stand fast my friend and pray.

How Much Do You Love God?

Our God is kind, loving, compassionate, merciful, forgiving, and full of grace. What he has done for us is incredible and we owe him all the praise and worship we can manage. He also deserves the obedience of his loving and grateful children. He deserves all of their attention, affection and eternal service. But one thing we must always remember is that he also a God of justice.

We did wrong. We rebelled against his love. We deserved death. But he did not kill us. Instead, he came up with a plan to rescue us; to give us an opportunity to escape our enslavement and disobedience. The cost of the plan was all on him but the decision was all on us. As much as he loves us; as much as he has sacrificed for us; as great as his mercy and grace is, we still have to choose. In choosing we turn our back on our rebellion and doing whatever we think is best and we embrace our God as our Father, entering into an incredible relationship of love and obedience. Jesus told us plainly:

God did not send his Son into the world to condemn its people. He sent him to save them! No one who has faith in God’s Son will be condemned. But everyone who doesn’t have faith in him has already been condemned for not having faith in God’s only Son. (John 3:17-18,CEV)

It all comes down to that decision so in essence our salvation is in our hands because God has done everything he can to rescue us from our own demise. But it isn't a one-off decision.There is the initial decision that allows our Father to adopt us through the work of Jesus, but then it becomes a daily decision to live in obedience and to shun evil. It is no different then when we were growing up in our parent's home. Every day we were presented with situations where we had to choose to either respect and honour them in our obedience or to rebel and do our own thing. Solomon told his son:

Obey the teaching
    of your parents—
21     always keep it in mind
    and never forget it.
22 Their teaching will guide you
    when you walk,
protect you when you sleep,
    and talk to you
    when you are awake. (Proverbs 6:20-22)

At the age of 49 I still live according to what I was taught in my parents' home because it was ingrained in me and as I have grown I have discovered the wisdom of my parents. As a child I obeyed (not always) simply because I was taught to obey but as I have grown I obey for a different reason. With God it is often like this.

We don't always understand why our Father has commanded certain things but if we love him we will obey, even without understanding. As we grow and mature, we begin to appreciate his wisdom and our obedience becomes a thing of maturity. Again, Solomon told his son:

The Law of the Lord is a lamp,
    and its teachings
    shine brightly.
Correction and self-control
    will lead you through life. (Proverbs 6:23, CEV)

There is a reason our Father commanded what he commanded. There are reason he has restricted what has been restricted. If we are too young spiritually to understand, then love should be enough to cause us to desire to obey without understanding. But as we mature, we will begin to see and appreciate just how much the Word is a lamp for our feet and the brilliance of the instructions of our Father.

Yet today, at this moment, you have to make that decision whether you will obey or not. Don't try changing the words and fitting it in to your agenda because that dishonours our Father. That's trying to paint him as a liar and confuses the world. No, you have to decide whether you love him enough to obey what he has instructed, whether you agree or disagree, whether you understand it or not. Obedience is not doing your thing and paying lip service to our Father. Obedience is following the instruction of our Father as he has given it. Do you love him enough to do what he has said?





















  

God Is Not Raising Spoiled Children

The thing we need to remember about our God is that he is a parent. We are his children and his desire is to see us grow and mature just like what we desire for our children. Of course children need to be raised in an atmosphere of love and encouragement and so we emphasize a lot the love, mercy and grace of our Father. It is important and we need the whole world to understand. But love is not just a field of butterflies and daffodils on a warm sunny day.There is more to a parent's love than hugs and kisses.

We often forget that our Father must also discipline us and this too is part of his love. Any parent who refuses to correct their child, who fails to teach right from wrong, who neglects to demonstrate the negative consequences of wrong action, does not love their child as they should. Of course we would prefer that our children were perfect and we did not have to deal with any negative behaviours, but our children are not perfect; they came from us.

Our Father loves us enough to deal with our wrong behaviour. He loves us enough to discipline us. No one enjoys it but we know we need it. We need it in order to learn and to grow up. Just because we needed discipline does not make us a failure; the only failure is to reject the correction. And remember, our Father's correction always includes restoration. Our desire should be to be obedient in all things at all times but when we are not our great desire should be restoration to a proper standing with God. David felt that:

Don’t punish me, Lord,
or even correct me
    when you are angry!
2 Have pity on me and heal
    my feeble body.
My bones tremble with fear,
3     and I am in deep distress.
    How long will it be? (Psalm 6:1-3)

I don't know about the rest of you but the punishment was never the greatest consequence of my wrong actions as a child. I could handle the punishment because it was over quickly but it was the strained relationship I could not handle. It wasn't until my mom or dad told me they forgave me, and I felt they were sincere, that I could relax.

The one thing we can be sure of is that our Father never corrects us out of vengeance or hatred. His correction is always an act of love, to make us more than what we are, to bring us to a better place, to help us mature and become all that he intended us to be. We must remember that even in correction, God is for us, not against us and when he says he forgives us he also means it is forgotten, never to be brought up again. This is an important passage to consider if you think love should not include discipline:

And have you completely forgotten this word of encouragement that addresses you as a father addresses his son? It says,

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline,
    and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
    and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father? (Hebrews 12:5-7)

Spoiled ones, that's which ones, and our Father is not raising spoiled children.

Are you so perfect that you make no mistakes, never offend God, never sin? Are you so mature that you have no room to grow further, nothing more to learn? Me neither. I have a long way to go and need the discipline of my Father to go the distance. I don't like it but I know I need it because I want to be with him today and forever. I want to live a life that would make my Dad proud. I want to please him.

So when we pray "show me Lord" sometimes he brings correction to tear down what we incorrectly built. Sometimes discipline must be applied so we can gain insight into what matters the most to our Father. Don't despise discipline and don't think our Father hates you or has abandoned you. Apply the lesson, seek forgiveness and allow him to restore you to him so that you will be more than you were before. Ask him for eyes to see, ears to hear, a heart to receive and a mind to understand.

Parenting In The Church

Have you ever wanted to be a teacher? Imagine the opportunity to shape young minds, to share knowledge and wisdom and see the reward of your students' great success. Sounds great in theory but it is more like trench warfare. What do you do with a classroom full of students who do not want to learn, who build walls and fail to see the importance of expanding their minds? So in reality, the greatest thing a teacher can ever achieve is to get his students to the point of wanting to learn. As soon as a teacher does that, he has equipped that student for the rest of his life. Is it better to give a fish or to teach how to fish? Is it better to give out knowledge or to teach how to gain knowledge?

The Church needs good teachers but the Word appears to make it a bit confusing. In one passage we are being chastised for not gaining enough maturity to be teachers and in another we are being told that we should not all assume to be teachers. The difference is the same difference between a school teacher and a parent.

There is no teacher more important or greater than a parent. Parents will teach their children to eat, walk, talk, sing, laugh, and share. Parents will teach the difference between what is good and what is bad and how to love. They teach them the foundations of life without an instruction book or curriculum. They do it with words and they do it by example. They teach as their parents'taught them. They teach the practical lessons of life. School teachers teach the formal education, which is also important but has a different nature and purpose. Sometimes school teachers end up teaching both because parents forget their responsibility.

In the Church all of us are like parents. We demonstrate the foundational aspect of our walk with Jesus. New Christians watch our example, listen to our testimonies and see how life is lived in a practical manner. We have our formal teachers, who are very important, who explain the words and teach us about things like the importance of love, but how that is applied is seen in the example of the "parents".

That is why we read from James:

My friends, we should not all try to become teachers. In fact, teachers will be judged more strictly than others. (James 3:1, CEV)

These are those of the five-fold ministry, who have a special anointing for the task, and who are responsible for bringing to us our formal "education". We need them but not everyone should assume to be one. However, we are all parents and should have such a maturity that we set a good example of the "working out" of our salvation daily. This is why we read this correction in Hebrews:

By now you should have been teachers, but once again you need to be taught the simplest things about what God has said. You need milk instead of solid food. People who live on milk are like babies who don’t really know what is right. (Hebrews 5:12-13)

We need maturity to be a good parent. I think we all understand that a 6 year old would not make a good parent. Either would a 14 year old or 16 or even in many cases an 18 year old, because they have not yet gained maturity. That is not saying they are not mature as an 18 year old but parenting often takes more than an 18 year old's maturity.

Spiritual maturity does not work in the same way; it is not based on time. Spiritual maturity is based on surrender and obedience. It is based on faith and trust. It is based on our centeredness in Jesus. This is important for church leadership to understand as well.

In his description of what Christians should look like, Paul told Timothy:

They must be kind to everyone, and they must be good teachers and very patient. (2 Timothy 2:24b)

Every Christian is a teacher but not formally. Everyone of us should have such maturity that we teach as parents teach. Few parents sit down with a blackboard and draw out how the principle of walking works. Instead, with a great deal of patience, a parent takes the child's hand and helps them learn to walk by trying again, and again, and again. When that first step of independence is taken there is a great celebration, the video is shared with everyone and a parent brims with pride.

New Christians need just as much attention and care. They don't need formal instruction from us because they will get that from those called to do so. They need people who will take them by the hand and will demonstrate a consistent, practical walk with Jesus. That new Christian will stumble and fall and will need loving, patient hands to help them to their feet again. But there is no excuse for parents who are impatient, unkind and fail to demonstrate the practical living of God's Word. Every Christian should have maturity to be kind to everyone, to be good parent-teachers and to be very patient.

The only real question to ask ourselves is, have we reached the level of maturity to be a parent?

What Do People See In You?

Do you have Christian parents? Then you should praise the Lord for them. Although you cannot have a saving relationship with Jesus through your parents' faith, a difference has been made in your life because they are believers. They have spent years teaching you by word and deed what it is to follow Jesus. Perhaps you didn't realize it but everything they did and how they did it was teaching you about their faith in God.

I am not claiming your parents are perfect examples, no one is, but they at least instilled in you the knowledge that there is something greater in your life than what you see. Your faith and trust in Jesus was shaped ever since you could understand and interpret your parents actions and words. Jesus was shining through them to plant seeds in you so that when he made himself known to you, there was a foundation already in place.

As apostle Paul remembered his friend Timothy, his friends faith came to mind. Timothy was remarkable from the beginning. From the very first request from Paul, Timothy showed he was willing to do whatever it took to serve Jesus. Having been invited to come along with Paul and Silas, Timothy obeyed Paul's request and was circumcised. According to our faith this ceremony is no longer needed but Timothy did it due to the fact Paul ministered at the synagogues of the towns they visited. This was a step of sincere faith and Timothy never looked back. And who does Paul credit such a good foundation to?

I have been reminded of your sincere faith, which first lived in your grandmother Lois and in your mother Eunice and, I am persuaded, now lives in you also. (2 Timothy 1)

As I said at the beginning, the source of faith is Jesus Christ, but examples of it are seen in the people we surround ourselves with. It is important for parents to understand that taking a child to church is a good thing but setting an example for their child is still their responsibility. It goes beyond kindness and good manners. It goes beyond respecting people and teaching right from wrong. Parents must demonstrate a sincere faith. Trust in Jesus is seen in the face of trying circumstances. Parents of faith do not allow worry and fear to change their behaviour or to act poorly to others. They show that when times are tough we do not find the solution in our but we bring it all to Jesus.

How we react shows our children the sincerity of our faith. What are our children seeing in us? I don't mean in the good days. Any person can smile when the sun is out. Any person can make a show of it in public. It is our children who get to see our private face. It is our children who first see our reaction to the stresses of life.  It is our children who see the inconsistencies and question how much we really believe what we say.

We need to praise the Lord for our parents who set a good example for us in what it is to trust Jesus. We also must be determined to set that example for our children. When they think of us do they think "My parents love and trust Jesus"? If someone asks them to describe you in a word, will "faith" come to mind? That's a good question to ask regardless of being a parent or not. If someone asked one of your friends to describe you in a word, what would that word be?

Is Rebellion Natural For A Teen?

Rebellion is natural to our flesh. Since the days of Adam it is natural in our human nature to rebel against authority, especially God's. So of course it is only natural in our flesh for teenagers to rebel against their parents. Parents are the ultimate authority in a child's life so if there is going to be any form of rebellion it is going to be aimed at those parents. It can be more complicated than that but this is the truth of the matter in simplified form. However, as Christians we are a new creation, we no longer live according to our flesh but by the Spirit of God. Rebellion is not part of our nature any more.

I hear from teens all the time who are struggling in their relationship with their parents. Sometimes it is because the teens are being selfish and self-centered and other times because the teen simply wants to follow Jesus. Sometimes parents are totally lost in selfishness and others are extremely opposed to Jesus. What then? What is a Christian to do?

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (Ephesians 6:1)

This is part of God's address concerning submission. In the same way a wife is to submit to her husband and a husband is to love his wife, a child is to submit to his parents and his parents are to love the child. Those are big words, submit and love, and if you haven't read my two previous posts you should to understand what the God means by those words.

Rebellion is not excusable in God's sight. He is responsible for all authority in this world and he has purpose for it. If the authority is not meeting his purpose God sends correction or removes it. This goes for all authority, which is hard for us to understand.

Consider Jesus when he was cornered about paying taxes to the conqueror of Israel. Caesar had invaded and conquered Israel at this time and, as is normal for any government, they taxed the people. When asked about this treatment of God's children Jesus simply said to give to Caesar what belongs to Caesar and to God what belongs to God. No rebellion there, even against those who ruled over God's children.

No parent is perfect and often there are plenty of mistakes and misunderstandings. There can be a huge battle of the will, but, led by the Spirit, a parents' response should be one of love. But love does not mean giving into whatever a child wants just as God does not spoil us by giving what we want. If we ask for poison God will not provide it and parents are not permitted to give to a child what would harm him. Teens cannot always understand this because they are still learning, exploring, discovering the great mysteries of life. But parents can also be unfair and it is here that God is working maturity into a teens character, if they trust Jesus.

Yes, it is a matter of trust. Teens who have learned to trust Jesus with every aspect of their life are able to submit, even to the unfairness of their parents. It is for their own benefit:

“Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—“that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.” (Ephesians 6:3)

The promise for obedience is that it will go well with you and you will have a long life. If you learn to allow the Spirit to destroy the ugly spirit of rebellion in you great things will come your way. When you learn to walk in submission to God his blessings flow through you like a tremendous river. But you can't be in rebellion against authority and be submitted to God. You cannot have a divided heart.

Obedience and honour, there is no way around them when you follow Jesus. Just as he submitted to his parents when he was a child, so do children today. When he did it everyone was amazed and blessed by him. If you are a teen, you will minister more through your obedience to your parents than you will with any words you speak. In the same way, any rebellion you display will rob Jesus of his glory. Maybe not something you want to hear today but it is something you must understand.

Let's Not Fail Our Children

I once heard a man, who looked around at the new generation that was emerging, utter these words: "We have failed them". He was referring to the "lawlessness" of his children's generation, their cavalier attitude toward God. They had become a generation that was turning their back on their parents' belief and the only trust they had was in themselves. It was a generation that was dropping the torch being handed to them for the sake of chasing after self-interests. We see from this that since then each generation is getting a bit worse than the one that came before it. Now, one of the greatest industries is that of entertainment and the thing that occupies a great portion of our days is entertainment.

It's not a difficult thing. God told us to teach our children all about him so they too would learn to put their trust in him. There is even a promises that states that if we teach our children the way of the Lord, as they grow they will not depart from it. The psalmist wrote:

He decreed statutes for Jacob 
   and established the law in Israel, 
which he commanded our forefathers 
   to teach their children, 
so the next generation would know them, 
   even the children yet to be born,    and they in turn would tell their children. (Psalm 78:5-6)

It's only natural and it only makes sense, giving a positive result:

Then they would put their trust in God 
   and would not forget his deeds    but would keep his commands. (Psalm 78:7)

This is what was commanded about the teaching of God and the law, so how much more important is it to teach about God's grace through Jesus Christ? The thing with parents is that they get to teach it in word and then to demonstrate it in deed. We can can teach the importance of love and trust but if we don't demonstrate it in our actions the lesson is not going to go very deep.

There are no greater teachers than parents. There are no more natural teachers than parents. If a parent can teach a child how to eat, walk, run, how to dress themselves, make their bed, brush their teeth, then surely to teach them about Jesus is an easy thing. We teach them to be polite and kind so why not teach them why we must be kind; that Jesus taught us to love? It should be an easy thing to teach our children the foundation for our own living, what motivates us to do what we do, and why it is so important to have Jesus as Lord and Saviour.

We may not be able to do much about the mistakes of previous generations but we certainly can stand in the responsibility we have been given to teach our children. It is great that the Church provides Sunday School and other youth training programs, but the greatest lessons still come from the parents and this is where the responsibility lay; on the parents. Let's not lose our children while trying to save the world. Let's start at home before we look to our neighbour. Let's not fail our children.

It Is A Matter Of Respect - Nothing Else

Just how important is it to respect parents and the elderly? Have we completely lost our understanding of God's desire in this area of respect?