"I am in deep distress, but I love your teachings." Psalm 119:143 CEV
Wouldn't it be great if everything was daises and sunshine all the time? But it isn't and I think we are doing a disservice to ourselves to expect it to be. I think we are also doing a disservice to God. Jesus did not promise us a rose garden or utopia. He warned us many times that it was going to be tough. We only make it harder on ourselves when we act all shocked when things don't go as we had hoped.
There are times when I am in deep distress. It does not come from a lack of faith. In fact, it is actually me working out my faith in Jesus. It is me facing my weaknesses and submitting them to the authority of Jesus. Sometimes there is some wrestling involved until I get to the place of laying it all down and saying "not my will but yours be done".
Such times do not mean that we love the Lord any less. It is not even saying that we do not have faith. We can be in distress and worship with such a sweet and sincere praise. We can cry out our love from a place of deep agony. We should not feel guilty because of the pain but instead recognize that we are participating in the process. It is one more weakness exposed, to be dealt with by the Spirit. It does not mean our love is weakening but instead growing stronger as we learn to submit more of ourselves.
They only time we need to worry is when the praises stop, when we stop seeking his face, when we start to search for other solutions within ourselves. If we are in distress and we start to resent God, then we are facing a true crisis. If we can walk through the "valleys" knowing Jesus is guiding us and loving him for it, even though we don't see the solution, then everything is okay.
Praising and trusting Jesus through our tears is a powerful moment of growth.